The Rough Drafts Writing Blog

I recently wrote an article about the search terms that people use to find this blog. It was called “The Search Terms”. I’ve already gotten enough new odd searches one short week later to justify a second article. Like I said, the internet is a strange place. Please feel free to refer back to the original article for the previous ones and my general search engine preamble.

The New Hotness:

1. “Tom & Magdalena” – yes. This one came up again. This refers to my story “Tom Finds and Loses His Way”. I’m still certain that they couldn’t have been looking for my fictional account of fucked up people’s lives.

2. “magdalina and tom” – It seems to be getting harder and harder to get away from these people. Who are they? Who is this real life Tom? Who is his real life Magdalena? I have no idea. As an attention whore, I’m glad that they exist.

3. “i´m an asshole i love magdalena and i left her” – OK. Are you guys just fucking with me on this one? Did one of the regular readers here search for this solely for the sake of amusing me? You rock if you did. But anyway … tragic. I guess.

4. Wii – Apparently, the Nintendo Wii is the internet’s new Ron Paul. It would seem to me that you only have to mention the Wii to get bombarded by traffic. I posted a review of the Wii last night. I now have at least half a dozen blogs and sites linking to me about it. Also, this search term has come up four times already. Really. I wonder how many of these are marketing people at Nintendo. Hookers. I can’t wait to see how many searches for “Nintendo+hookers” I get based on that.

5. “michael jackson” – Yeah, not sure why. This is from the first article. I can imagine that the only person still searching for Michael Jackson is Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson’s nose? That’s another story entirely. Nobody is ever going to find that. It’s the holy grail of the internet.

6. “angela paman” – This is too funny. Someone posted in the comments to the last article that all they get are searches for angela paman. Now they’re finding her on my blog. Nice Angela. The whole world is out to find you apparently. It couldn’t happen to a nicer girl, unless it was me. Wait … I’m not a … nevermind. I misspoke.

7. “bronson pinchot” – Balki is the motherfucking man. I, for one, am proud to be found under his name. You do kind of have to wonder who was searching for it though. Don’t get me wrong: I love Bronson (he’s 4 Stars on The Scale of Awesome™ after all), but I realize that the Balki in-crowd isn’t quite what it once was. Hmmm … interesting.

8. “baseball bat scale” – Your guess is as good as mine. I have no idea what this ass-clown was searching for. I have no idea what they found. It could’ve been the Wii review. I’m not sure. It raises interesting questions though. Were they searching for a scale that was shaped like a baseball bat? Perhaps a scale for weighing baseball bats? Possibly a rating scale that involved baseball bats? I have no idea, but that doesn’t keep me from being amused.

9. “pies in his face” – Really? Again? This, of course relates to the “Pie And Mortal Kombat” flash fiction that I wrote last month. Predictably, I’m shocked that people are searching for it AGAIN. Is there a huge resurgence of ‘pie in the face’ humor that I’m unaware of? Is the internet populated entirely by clowns? These are questions that I’d certainly like the answers to.

10. “gta-iv review disappointing”, “gta iv”, “gta iv is ok” – I grouped these three together because they’re all basically different spins on the same search. I’m almost certain that they got my (fake) review of GTA IV. It’s kind of funny though when you look at their different positions. There’s someone who wants to hear good things, someone who wants to hear bad things, and someone who just wants to hear anything. Sadly, I’d bet that my review didn’t help. Look, I was bored and it’s annoying that it’s all over the place. I got it off my chest.

People are odd.  I’m amused by it.  There will be more later I’m sure.