The Rough Drafts Writing Blog

The Wii is exceptionally fun to play. I don’t state that lightly. One would think that you’d feel awkward flailing around like a wounded goat as you try to play tennis (or whatever) on it. I really don’t though. I truly believe that it’s so fun that all of your considerations about looking ‘cool’, or however you want to describe it, just fly right out the window.

My opening mock drama isn’t completely silly. This game really does bring sports and other things back to the hermit and the shut-in. Kind of. I generally don’t like to be around people. As a result, I haven’t actually played a competitive sport since high school. I’ve had so much fun playing the Wii Sports games both alone and with the kids. It’s amazing.

Wii Sports

And what about those Wii Sports games? Well, they’re free. They must suck right? No. They really don’t. I also got Super Paper Mario along with the console and I’ve yet to get to it. AND … I was really looking forward to it. The Wii Sports games were just so fun that I couldn’t stop playing.
1. Bowling – I started with bowling for two reasons. The first reason was that my daughter had played it before at a friends house. She already got it, so it’s a good easy in. The second reason is because I’m really not into bowling. I don’t live in a trailer. I don’t generally think of things that you can do while excessively drunk as sports. You get the point. I figured that, being a bowling-hater, I’d get it out of the way and get to the games that didn’t suck.

Shockingly though, Wii Bowling KICKS ASS. No, really it does. It was so fun. I think that we played for almost two hours before moving on to the next game. I have limited range of motion in my arms now and I blame Wii Bowling.

2. Tennis – A little difficult, but overall really fun. I can see myself coming back to Wii Tennis time and again and trying to improve. I think it would probably be more fun if you were to play against someone else, but it was still great solo.

3. Boxing – So good. It should come with a warning screen though that says: “Not intended for portly smokers.” It kicked my ass. I didn’t lose. Rather I mean that the game took a lot out of me. I’ll probably play this one a lot as it provides a huge adrenaline rush and also the greatest physical challenge at this point. Some day I’ll be able to fight two rounds without needing oxygen afterwards. I hope.

It would certainly be worth the $250 and the time and effort it would take to set it up and convince me to come over just to see my reaction when I knock my opponent down. Now, in reality, I have a poor fighting combination. I have both crazy hate/retard strength as well as an almost total lack of coordination. You wouldn’t know it though to see my after a knockdown. You’d think I just beat the hell out of a real person … that I hated a lot. Kudos to you Wii Boxing. You’ve made sad funny again.

4. Golf – Wii golf is fun. It’s fairly simple. I was a little annoyed at times by problems with the sensor during my swing, but overall good clean fun. I will play many times more.

5. Baseball – I’m not going to lie to you. Wii Baseball was a little weak. Pitching was fun. The only thing that made the hitting fun was the nerf bat remote that I also got. I talk about that below. I’d say the largest problem with hitting is that the pitches come in too slow. It can kind of feel like you’re waiting forever to swing. Also, it’s kind of set up like some kind of bizarre whiffle ball game that you’d play as a kid. You’re assigned a base by how hard and far you hit the ball; there is no running. Overall, it’s kind of fun though (pitching at least) so I’ll probably play it some more.

I’m really excited to continue exploring all of the features and availabilities of the Wii. I would like to check out the online marketplace, Guitar Hero, Mario Kart, Wii Fit, etc. I’m so excited to see what Nintendo comes out with next. They actually sell a crossbow remote attachment for the Wii Zelda game. A fucking crossbow? That’s so incredibly badass. I don’t know how I could possibly not check that out for a measly twenty-five bucks.

I have never gotten more cool free games with a console. Super Mario Brothers kicked ass, but there was only one of it. You know what I’m saying?

The Single Negative

I only really have one negative thing to say about the console. The sensor could be better. Theoretically. It doesn’t suck. That’s not what I’m saying. Basically, the sensor seems a little weak at times. I feel like I have to do things twice or that it does the wrong thing occasionally. I didn’t take off any stars for that because it’s not that bad. It’s a nitpick really. It may even be that I’m doing something wrong or that I’m still just getting used to it.

The NERF Remote Attachments – AWESOME IDEAS

Wow! Who was the person that came up with the idea of making attachments for the Wiimote that resembled the equipment of the sport you’re playing? Someone deserves a raise. I couldn’t even think of a cooler little thing for the Wii until I saw the crossbow. (I mean, Jesus, it’s a crossbow!) It’s about $35 for the package. It comes with a tennis racket, a baseball bat, a golf club, and a handle that the remote goes in.

The tennis racket is fun. It makes Wii Tennis feel a little more realistic. I was a little tiny bit nervous about the baseball bat. By this I mean, the whole ’swinging a baseball bat in the house’ thing. It is NERF though and I haven’t broken anything yet. The bat was one of the best things about Wii Baseball. I have yet to get around to the golf club. I played golf before opening this set.

The NERF Remote Attachments – MY ONLY REAL GRIPE

I get it now. I always used to wonder how men mistook transvestites in bars for women. The NERF package taught me that sometimes – in the right light, at the right angle, when you really want it to – one thing can look like another. Yes, that’s right. They tricked me. Imagine how embarrassed I was with all that Bonaduce egg on my face!

What was it? There was a Wiimote in the package … or so I thought and hoped. As a result, I didn’t pick up a second Wiimote. Big mistake. I ended up being a mixture of Wiibemused and WiiPissedOff. As it turns out, the ‘Wiimote’ was actually a cardboard cutout of a Wiimote. I laugh at my stupidity now, but at the time I was pissed. At the right angle, in the right light, with a certain amount of hope – it looked like a real Wiimote.

In Conclusion

The Wii rocks. If you like fun, you’ll like the Wii. If you have a heart, you’ll like the Wii. If you’ve never kicked a baby, you’ll like the Wii. Buy one if you can. If you only care about car-jacking people and blowing stuff up, buy something else (though there are some of those kind of games too for the Wii). I love it. Best birthday present ever.