The Rough Drafts Writing Blog

Prompt: The only thing that I ever wanted was ____________.

“Pie and Mortal Kombat”

It was certainly time to do something about this. Peggy and I would just have to talk him out of it. I don’t think we really had a choice at this point. It had gone too far. We went into his room. Peggy spoke first.

“Hey Barry. You got a second?”
“Sure thing Mom.”
I looked at my boy and said: “Son, we love you. We have to talk to you about this circus thing.”
“Look Dad, I know what you’re…”
Peggy interrupted with “Please just hear us out.”
Barry sighed, rolled his eyes disgustedly, and said: “Fine.”
I decided to start.

“Barry, when I was a kid, the only thing that I ever wanted was pie. It was an obsession really. Apple, raspberry, strawberry; it didn’t matter as long as it was pie. I also wanted to beat the hell out of all of my friends in Mortal Kombat. So … it wasn’t all about pie, but I think the point stands: everything is much simpler when you’re young.”

Peggy looked at me like I was deranged or mentally handicapped or something. Barry noticed it and smiled. I continued.

“Lots of things have happened between then and now. I graduated high school and then college. I ran for mayor. I’ve told you about that before right? It was just a crazy thing I did. I think I was just scared of actually having to get a job. But anyway, I met some girls and even fell in love with one of them.” Peggy smiled at this. I went on. “We got married and bought a house. We had you.”

“You see … the point is that I was searching as we all search. We all try to find out who we are and what we’ll be. It’s a fairly universal path that life takes us all on. The idea is to search without making your life a gigantic disaster in the long run. That’s why your mother and I are concerned about you lately kid. You can’t just run away with the circus. It’s not a reasonable thing to do. We understand if you want join a band or try to be an actor or hell … even run for mayor. Those are all things that won’t ruin your life. You’re not going to find yourself thrown off of a train in Skokie, Oklahoma with no money in your pocket or education to speak of because you ran for mayor. Backpack across Europe if you have to. Protest the war. I’m not telling you what to do; I’m just saying that there are a lot of things that you could do that don’t involve sharing a straw bed with a filthy camel.”

Peggy looked a bit more impressed with the point I was trying to put on the matter. Barry had likely stopped listening at Mortal Kombat. I decided to press on.

“What are you looking to get out of this son?”
“I’ve always wanted to be a clown. The circus is the largest stage for clowns. I’ll get a chance to work my way up.”
I had to find a way into his mind. “But what Barry … makes you want to be a clown? Have you ever considered the future? How much of one is there in clowning? You’re very intelligent. You could be a lawyer, a doctor, or anything really that you wanted to be.”
“You guys don’t get it. I love everything about the idea of being a clown. I love the makeup. I love the costume. I love the looks on the faces of the people watching you.”
“Barry, you played a clown once … at a school fundraiser. It’s not exactly a good basis for life-changing decisions.”
“Dad, people love clowns. I love clowns. I just want to make people happy.”
“Barry … I don’t know how to tell you this, but many people don’t like clowns. There have been studies done on it for crying out loud.”
“Mom, do you understand?”
“Honey, your father’s right. Many people dislike clowns.”
I interjected:”I’m sorry that I said that Bar. I’ve seen the numbers. I didn’t lie about it, but it’s not really the point. Have you considered working as a party clown on the weekends while you go to college?”
“Dad, party clowning is the worst. Everyone does hate those people. They work alone. They perform to people that aren’t out to see clowns. It’s the toughest way to go. And for what really? If I work really hard then I can be the best low-rent party clown in the history of party clownery or however you say it. I’m not doing that. I want to be a clown and the circus is where it’s at.”

I sat back and thought about it. Peggy and I would have to talk about this. We excused ourselves and went out to the kitchen.

“What do you make of this Peg?”
“I don’t know. I have no idea what to say. I can’t believe that he’d choose to throw his life away.”
I stopped to consider this for a moment.
“Is he really throwing his life away? I mean … I certainly don’t get it and you don’t seem to either, but Barry seems to be stuck on this.”
“I don’t know Peter. He wants to be a clown. Why did we make him go to school or do homework? He plans to spend the rest of his life taking pies in his face.”
“Yeah, that’s the thing though. It’s his life. We raised him well. He knows what he wants or at least he thinks he does. It’s not what we expected or hoped for, but if it makes him happy … then we should support him. Right?”
“But the circus Peter! The smelly, filthy circus! Why?”
“Oddly, that part actually made some sense to me in the end. He thought it through. You want to be a doctor … you go to medical school. You want to be a clown … you join the circus. I’m proud of him … in some way.”

We went back and forth like this for nearly an hour. In the end, Peggy agreed with me. She didn’t like it, but she agreed. If Barry wanted to be a clown then we had to accept that and support him. If it didn’t work out in the end, then at least he tried and we were behind him. He could always do something else. He had a lot of options. We knocked on his door and walked in.

I began. “Barry, your mother and I talked about it. We support you. If you want to give the clown thing a shot for a while then we’re behind you.”
Barry looked confused. “You are?”
“Yes. You are our son, but you’re becoming a man and it’s time that you began running your own life. You should give this a shot.”
Barry looked more puzzled than ever. “I have no idea what’s going on here. Mom? Dad? Have you been replaced by alien invaders or something? I don’t want to become a clown. That’s a ridiculous goddamn idea. I just wanted an H2 and I thought you might offer to buy me one to not ruin my life. Jesus. You people are weirdoes. Honestly! A clown. What the hell is wrong with you people? I’m not sleeping on a train. I’m going to college.”

In the end, we bought the boy his absurd SUV. Did it negatively reinforce his bad behavior? Perhaps, but mostly we were just glad that he wasn’t going to run away with the circus.